Somedays I sit and wonder who I really am...

Who is that staring at me in the mirror?
I wonder what he is like...
Is he outgoing or introspective?
What is his style?
Music, clothes, movies?
Or how about his motivation?
Why does he continue to live on earth?
Does he believe in God?
Does he believe in anything at all?
Why?
Why are his eyes sad, why is his smile always a fraud?
Why is his face like a mask designed to hide his heart?
He seems so unsure...
No direction, no purpose, no motivation, no love, no hate, no emotion at all,
just pain, but even the pain is gone
Numb
Cold
Black
The color I see surrounding his heart some days...
He reminds me of a song
Something haunting, a melody played in all minor scales
Unresolved chords with no resolution
Occasionally a major will come and all will seem right
But the joy will die out, and the gloomy melody will return...
Who is this man?
This man staring at me in the mirror?

Bleak hope

My whole body aches from carrying these burdens so long
I'm so alone.
I have companions, those to pass the time with, share a good laugh with...
Yet I'm still alone.
I feel as though I've locked myself away,
In a dungeon of sorts, the type with bars and chains
Emotional barriers built to keep people from gaining entry to my heart
It's cold in this cell, these black wall closing in on all that brings me joy
My faith is fading, my heart is burning with the desire to be free and love again
I don't even think I can...